Sunday, November 14, 2010

Jace: I got chewed out by my very unemotional aunt today
EJ: Why?
J: About not taking driving seriously
E: What'd you do to deserve that?
J: Don't ask
E: oooohhhh, that can't be good
J: Okay, okay, I drank while driving
E: ....
J: Like took a sip of water during a straight stretch
E: How were you not taking driving seriously? WAIT A SECOND
J: What?
E: Were you drinking flavored water missy?
J: Yes....
E: Because you know what that'll do to your judgement!!!!
J: Wait, it was just coffee, like espresso
E: Oh, now that's BAD!!!
J: I know, DUI, I could be arrested
E: Under the influence of caffeine. That can be very dangerous
J: Very much so.
E: Can you do a breath test for that?
J: I wonder
E: We are so weird
J: I know it. You want to know a lethal combination?
E: What?
J: Coffee + Cute Boys + Driving
E: That would be bad
J: So bad indeed *laughs manically* I JUST SAID INDEED!
E: I was thinking of anything we could add to that
J: Oh! + Rap Music
E: Could you imagine driving while drinking coffee with cute boys in every seat with rap music blaring?
J: *shaking with laughter* What a music video
E: Could you imagine watching something like that? What a drivers ed movie!
J: Oh my gosh
E: Think about the lives that would save!
J: Oh yes, the dangers of DUIC
E: That is totally what we're doing this summer
J: So all the girls caught in the situation of driving with rap music, cute boys, and coffee know what to do.
E: Uh huh
J: Yeah, but knowing me we'll have to pay the cute boys like $50 an hour with my driving
E: Omigosh.... but if we did a video we would be driving while drinking coffee with cute boys in every seat and rap music PLUS a camera! That might be too much of a risk.....Well if I was driving it'd be more like $80
J: The camera is the clincher
E: I feel we should just text instead
J: Texting would add a lot of variables to this situation
E: Oh, definitely. You could even drive with your knees!
J: Oh my gosh, we are such daredevils
E: And at random intervals I can point out things on the side of the road so you'll look away
E: I think this is getting out of hand. I mean, we could even be arrested for having this convo
J: Yeah, probably
E: Seriously, if some cop reads this, they'll have to track us down
J: Or at least one of my 100+ drivers ed teachers. YOU START DRIVERS ED SO SOON!
E: Yeah, I know, I'm nervous
J: You'll do fine
E: It's kind of cool but it still freaks me out
J: I'll sneak up on you and jump out of the bushes
E: While I'm driving?
J: Yes, and I'll scream BWAHAHAHAHA
E: I think I'd kind of win if you did that
J: Huh?
E: Sorry, but the car is bigger than you Jill
J: I am an evil genius
E: Or an evil idiot..... just sayin'
J: It would plow me like a pancake
E: Definitely, especially cos it's a Suburban. And it's black too, so I could make a cool getaway
E: We should definitely put that in our video
J: Just to show what happens when you play chicken with a car
E: Definitely
J: Between you and I, America will never look at drivers ed the same way!
E: How did we even start talking about this?
J: I'm tired
E: How can you be tired?
E: NO! I'm just going to show them this conversation and tell them you're encouraging bad behavior in teens
J: That would really be screwed up after all we've been through
E: Oh, that is true. Maybe I should reconsider.
J: Maybe
E: Especially since I came up with half the ideas
J: Everyone accuses the drinking, stealing, smoking, drug dealing teens as being the bad ones
but they never look out for the evil geniuses such as ourselves
E: Yeah, they're just so naive
J: To quote High School Musical, "We're all in this together!"
E: We are evil, HSM quoting geniuses
J: That we are, Emma, that we are
E: I don't think you can be a genius and quote HSM
J: Aw, that's too true
E: I know, it's sad. We need to find something else to quote.
E: That'll fix the situation
J: How misunderstood we are
E: That's it! We only text and drive with cute boys because we're misunderstood!
J: We are poor rejects
E: I mean, if anyone had an excuse, it's us
J: Misunderstood we were left to a life of crime
E: I know...... it was the coffee that started it
J: We didn't know the caffeine was so addicting!
E: No one told us!
E: It was just a taste.....
J: They evilly pushed caffeine upon us
E: We didn't know it would lead to so many things... the rap music was next
J: One thing always leads to another
E: The influence that has on you while driving.... I just thought I could handle it all
J: You wouldn't believe it
E: Then the boys asked for the ride....
J: Oh my gosh
E: We thought we could handle the pressure, then my friend pointed out a cute puppy and it was all over.
J: We had to break under the stress of it all, there was no escape
E: It just lead to more coffee, we had no other way to cope
J: And then I had to jump out of the bushes and scare the %#*@ out of the driver
E: And all that coffee had effected me so much
J: That was the next event in our downward spiral
E: It wasn't on purpose
J: The jumping out business
E: She just came out so fast
J: It was pretty fast
E: I didn't have time to react, I mean, she was only standing there like, two minutes and you know what coffee does to you
J: It was the evil starbucks lady. She led us down the wrong road.
E: WE WERE INNOCENT!!! Innocent I tell you. And the boys were yelling at me too...
J: Because they said I was flirting with the puppy...
E: I swear she wasn't! Wait.... you were actually flirting with the puppy?
J: NO!
E: I swear I didn't know!
J: They thought I was flirting cos I was petting it... it was actually a lot cuter than them...
E: Officer, I swear I had no idea! Oh wait... I agree with her again.
J: Cos we were getting all nice a cozy
E: It was a cute puppy
J: It had brown eyes
E: The boys were just jealous
J: Of the attention, you know officer?
E: We wanted to get it's number so we could text it while driving, but he wouldn't give it to us
J: Said something about his iPawd being out of texts
E: Yeah, but then we went back to the boys because the puppy was out of our league
J: Totally
E: But they were still mad at us
J: So we gave them candy
E: And more coffee. It worked.
J: Yeah, that helped
E: Definitely
J: Pretty soon they were back, and ready so after even more coffee....
E: We had to go to Starbucks again
J: We went dancing on the roof
E: I don't remember how we got the car up there
J: No, wait, it was the car roof, remember?
E: Oh yeah!
J: *pokes Emma in the ribs*
E: Sorry, it's a little foggy because of all the caffeine
J: Yeah, we were trippin'
E: I'm totally telling my Mom about this, she'll laugh so hard
J: You sure she won't get ticked at me for being such a bad influence?
E: Maybe I should reconsider. You were pretty bad, encouraging me to drink coffee and look at puppies, then jumping out the bushes.
J: It all started the day we pulled into Starbucks, remember? I'm perfectly innocent.
E: Yeah, me too officer!
J: I learned my lesson after getting squashed like a pancake, remember officer?
E: Yeah, don't you think we've learned enough?
J: Hey, Em, how did I resurrect myself again?
E: I don't know, I was in a black Suburban making a speedy exit, remember?
J: I know, but what about my brave tale of survival? Where does that fit in?
E: I did text 911, but they didn't reply
J: Aw, shucks, Officer, you owe us one!
E: Jillian, can you imagine what other people, not misunderstood people, would say if they read this?
J: Um, no
E: They'd probably lock us in a white room with padding on the walls
J: I hope we at least have bubble wrap
E: Yeah, that would be good. Do you think they'd put us in the same room?
J: Probably not, but I hope so
E: Yeah, although we'd probably have a better chance of getting out if we weren't together
J: We seem to entertain each other quite well
E: And our insanity seems to multiply

Ummmm, yeah. Please don't get us arrested,
Kay, thanks.


  1. Haha that is funny. When i was reading this I couldn't help but it reminded me of my friend i use to talk to. Me and her use to talk like this and laugh. We were crazy. But i don't talk to her anymore. It sounds like you two are good friends and you guys are fun to be around! lol a little crazy too.

  2. I read it. It was much better than Homework. Kinda like an alternate universe where only voices exist.